


The Bridge

by nhil



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Philosophy, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 16:57:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11948607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhil/pseuds/nhil
Summary: The final choice, the voices that try to influence it, and what right and wrong mean to fate and free-will...





	The Bridge

I had some trepidation, trying to hold onto the railing as I lifted myself over. It was stupid after all, I was going to jump, tripping over and falling was hardly different. But I had always hated heights, I always held on for grim life.

Grim life, I couldn’t help to chuckle, that was mine. It was grim, I had nothing left, I had pushed them all away. My wife, my daughter, my family, my work – there was nothing left. I had made sure of that.

As I walked up to the bridge here, I told myself that this would be all for the better. What little I had would go to them and the insurance would take care of the rest. I had made sure of that, I had scoured the terms and conditions for this. They wouldn’t screw them like I had been screwed.

It was a lie of course, it always was. I used them as an excuse, I used the situation as a reason. I’ve always been unhappy… always wanting a nirvana that never could be. Something they couldn’t give me, the world seemed unwilling to grant me.

I made it over the railing and stared at the torrent below. This is real, this is the time, this is… the end. Just the release of hand – the untensing of a few muscles – it would take less than a second and end a few more after that.

* * *

They appeared without fanfare, without any sense or warning, just two figures before me. No, that’s not right, to my sides – to the right… and the other. Nothing described them, nothing to distinguish them at all. They both stared down at the raging torrent beneath.

“Probably should introduce ourselves…” offered the one to the right  
“Yah, think….” The other replied sarcastically,  
“Well… uh… call me Aleph… uh, Al will probably do…” Aleph offered meekly  
“Yeah, call me Om – short for Omega – but I don’t think you really care about all that at the moment.” Omega continued.  
“What the fuck – excuse the language – are you doing here!?” I said… I didn’t have the energy to shout but it was a time to swear if there were any…  
“Ahhh… that’s a complicated question now, isn’t it. In simple terms, we’re here for your immortal soul… want to guess which side I’m on?” Om said plainly as he pulled a cigarette out a packet and flicked his fingers to light it.  
“Well it’s more complicated than that.” Al continued.  
“Doesn’t matter what you believe and it’s not quite… well… your soul we’re after.”  
“It’s more… settling a bet, if you well, if you choose to do this freely than someone wins and someone else… well, loses…”  
“What the hell are talking about!? You’re betting on if I jump!?” Now, I had found a voice to yell with.  
“Meh, it’s more a philosophical proposition… you see?” Om said as he shook the ash for the cigarette.  
“You jump; counts as free-will for his *chosen* people…” Om practically spat the word.  
“You don’t; you are easily cowed and not worthy…”  
“Fairly simple… I think, my – colleague – will disagree of course.” Surprisingly there was little disdain in his voice for his colleague.  
“Now, to be fair, it’s not what you do… it’s more about… well… you know…” Al didn’t seem entirely certain of what he was saying.  
“… Well, it’s about state of mind… you understand – I’m not judging or anything – but if you do anything it has to be your choice… uh, not compelled, or anything, you understand?” Al’s certainty fading into nothing as he went on.  
“…”  
“What… what’s in it for you?” I said, not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer, but hardly certain these figures were… for real if that made any sense…  
“Eh, validation… rubbing his noise in it… being right… You know, all that shit…” Om said gesturing towards Al with a hint of doubt in his voice.  
“Well… you know, right thing to do and all that…” Al offered weakly, realising the argument he was putting forth.  
“You want me to jump because it’s the right thing to do! You don’t want me to because it somehow validates you!?” I yelled  
“Who the fuck are you people!?”  
“People is probably not the right term… but we are, uh, here for you” Al offered.  
“Heh, fancy-pants is right on that, we ain’t people…” Om countered.  
Something had snapped in me, I saw two figures, holding on like me arguing about something I could not care less about.  
“Then why are holding you on… why don’t you go first!” I didn’t yell, but there was a force in my voice.  
“… Uh…”, they spoke in unison as I grabbed both their arms and fell forward.

* * *

Despite what I thought, it seemed like an eternity before I hit the water. The air rushed past but I held on dearly to the two interlopers. We struck the water like it was concrete, I didn’t feel a thing beyond some choice words uttered by my new companions:

“Well, that went well didn’t it…” Om said sarcastically.  
“I didn’t know he’d take that much offense to you.” Countered Al, defensively.  
“Hey, a win’s a win, that’s all I can say…”  
“We’ll see…” said Al wearily…

* * *

The rushing wind didn’t seem to end, I opened my eyes to see myself on the bridge once again – still holding onto the interlopers. There was no point and I let go of them. Before wearily returning back home, I heard the following choice words between by my new companions:

“A nice word be appreciated…” Al stated, slightly peeved.  
“… Why? You ruined a good night out…” Om said flippantly.  
“Well, it’s not like you wanted a midnight swim either.”  
“…” Om had no comeback beyond flicking his half-smoked cigarette into the river.

* * *

That night, there was a choice, and no choice -- but what actually happened is something I will never know.


End file.
